It's all yours

The Buddha One said to him: "what do you think: Do friends and colleagues, relatives and kinsman come to you as guests?"

"Yes Master Gotama, sometimes friends and colleages, realatives and kinsman come to me as guests."

"And what do you think: Do you serve them with staple and non-staple food and delicacies?"

"Yes sometimes I serve them with staple and non- staple foods and delicacies."

"And if they don't accept them, to whom do those foods belong?"

"If they don't accept them, those foods are all mine."

"In the same way, Brahman, that with which you have insulted me, who is not insulting; that with which you have taunted me, who is taunting; that with which you have berated me, who is not berating: that I don't accept from you. It's all yours, Brahman. It's all yours.

"Whoever returns insult to one who is insulting, returns taunts to one who is taunting, returns a berating to one who is berating, is said to be eating together, sharing company, with that person. But I am neither eating together nor sharing your company, Brahman. It's all yours. It's all yours"

THE BUDDHA

favorite singer

Brianna ... "My favorite singer that is a girl is Selena Gomez.  And my favorite boy singer is Dad!"

what if

Me:  You are my favorite son.  Don't tell anyone.

Avery:  Don't worry, I won't tell your other son.  What if you did have a son you didn't know about?

Me:  It is kind of hard for a woman to have a child she does not know about.

Avery:  Oh yeah.

my straw

I have been in the religious minority since at least third grade.  The stories from the Bible never made much sense to me as a young child and as I became older, what was being preached in most churches did not align with my values.  Not identifying with being Christian was not easy given that I was growing up in a one-light small town south of the Bible Belt.  I was called many names relating to what 'horrible things I probably did believe in'.  Or assumptions that my room was painted black and I had an alter (it was really pink but kids are very imaginative!).  In high school I dropped my AP English class when we were given the assignment to compare the novel we had just read to the Bible.  My teacher just could not understand that I had not read the book.  As an adult I was told by one neighbor that all his friend had to do was lay his hands on me and I would be a believer.  Another told me her life would be miserable if she believed what I did.

All of this is to say I have had many years to build up a strong dislike for Christians.  During my most angry years I labeled myself an atheist; in years filled with less anger, I would call myself an agnostic.  (Militant agnostic would be more fitting:  I don't know and there is NO WAY you do either!!)  I felt my guard had to be constantly maintained in case the subject was brought up and I would need to fiercely defend my beliefs.  Most of the time I had to explain that just because I do not claim to be religious or have any answers, does not mean that it is open season for conversion.  I have always had a strong set of beliefs and values; I was not a blank canvas waiting for someone to paint THEIR picture; I had my own. 

And to be honest, it was more than just a dislike but really a narcissistic view of being more evolved than them.  More open minded.  More rational.  These feelings are unfortunately not too far in my past but really this is a journey I am still on.  I have discovered my mind really was not that open at all.  The leader of my covenant group at church (Unitarian Universalism for those of you who just became confused) quoted a Buddhist named Sharon Salzberg who describes us as viewing the sky through straws that we hold in our hands.  We all have these tiny views of the truth but feel as if we are getting the whole story.  And we cling tightly to these straws because they are ours alone.  We decide who to befriend and who to distrust based on how our straws look when compared to others.  We view our whole lives through them, believing our truth is the only correct one.  It was powerful to think about my beliefs in this way.  I realized in my years of anger and more-rational-than-thou attitude, I had become exactly what I didn't like in those others.  I realized we are all looking at the same truth and relating and describing it in the only way we can given our small little straws.  What we are looking at is the same and we are the same.  It is just the words and labels that are different. 

I know it will take mindfulness and practice to completely remove the old me against them mindset but I know so much has already opened up for me in just these past couple of months. 

"It may likewise contribute to soften that resentment which pride naturally raises against opposition, if we consider, that he who differs from us, does not always contradict us; he has one view of an object, and we have another; each describes what he sees with equal fidelity, and each regulates his steps by his own eyes."

      Samuel Johnson


~ Steph

??? pipe

Avery and I are in our office and I am singing the Weezer song Hash Pipe:

You've got your big G's
I've got my hash pipe

Avery laughs and says he didn't know those were the lyrics and asks what is hash.

I tell him it is part of the marijuana plant.  Then Avery asks isn't that the same thing you do to potatoes?

Ahhh - you have to love the innocence of childhood.

flower petals

Avery:  My son will the strong and athletic.  He will be all like ... (lots of flexing and weight - lifting stances follow).  He will be awesome at football and all the other sports.

Me:  What if you have a daughter?

Avery:  (confused and then regaining composure) My daughter will be cute and feminine.  She will skip everywhere she goes while throwing flower petals from a basket.

Me:  Have you seen your sister????  Good luck with that!

But Dad!

Troy: Turn off the TV and come eat dinner.

Bri: But dad! I'm watching it.

Troy: It's dinner time so turn it off. And don't say 'but dad' again.

Bri: Dad ... But ... I'm watching it.

Troy: 'Dad ... But' counts too!